‘I Have Excellent Typong Skills’

Posted on March 24, 2018

This Blog, I have been somewhat lazy, but felt compelled to share for two reasons, first, it highlights a valuable point to our community, and second, it’s bloody funny!

 

The article was first published in the Mail Online on 20 October 17, and beautifully written by Bianca London (More here).  Enjoy!

 

‘I have excellent typong skills’: Employees reveal the WORST blunders people have made on their CVs (and they’ll make you cringe)

If you’ve been endlessly applying for jobs with no luck, it could be down to some very simple mistakes you’re making. 

 

James Reed, the Chairman of job hunting site REED, has shared some of the most epic CV blunders he’s witnessed – and some of them will leave you in disbelief. 

 

From someone who claimed they had ‘excellent typong skills’ to someone who stated they had ‘atention to detial’, James shares the biggest CV blunders that have landed on his desk.

 

  1. In a rather contradictory manner, one candidate wrote in the skills section of their CV that they had ‘excellent typong skills.’ In this case the proof clearly is not in the pudding. 

 

  1. Getting others to review your CV can be helpful, but make sure you don’t leave their feedback on your CV, as it may reveal a little too much. Such as with this candidate, who left the review comments on his CV visible, one of which was: ‘I don’t think you should lie about your academic background, they can find out.’ 

 

  1. Clearly this candidate misjudged the sort of skills that the job that they were applying for required, writing that they were extremely ‘fertile’ as opposed to ‘versatile.’ 

 

  1. It’s probably not the best idea to indicate that you would enjoy murdering potential future clients, which is the error that the following candidate made, stating: ‘I enjoy severing customers.’ 

 

  1. Threatening to destroy your potential new employer is extremely unlikely to get you the job. That was the mistake of this candidate, whose typo meant that they were apparently responsible for the ‘destruction’ of their current employer as opposed to ‘distribution.’ 

 

  1. If you are applying for a job, make sure you have relevant experience. One employer received a CV where the person wrote that they had experience working in a ‘whorehouse.’ Hopefully, what they really meant was a ‘warehouse.’ 

 

  1. Having good written English is a skill that most employers look for, so make sure that you don’t do what one candidate did and write your entire CV in abbreviated text language throughout. 

 

  1. One letter makes all the difference, as there is definitely a huge difference between ‘public relations’ and ‘pubic relations.’ 

 

  1. Similarly, if you’re going to highlight your ‘atention to detial’ to a prospective employer, at least try to convince them! 

10. Finally, always check that you have in fact attached your CV, rather than, for example, a court summons for your upcoming trial where you’re being accused of ‘fraud and miss representation.’ Not the sort of skills a future employer is looking for! 

Now, do you want to go and recheck your CV??

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